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  1. #1
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    2 Patkovi Best Vicevi

    Uciteljica pita Ivicu da kaže neku pjesmicu.
    Ivica: "Mara sjedi pored cicka,
    vidi joj se cijela pi*ka!"
    Uciteljica izgrdi Ivicu i kaže:
    "Ivice, to je jako prosto, znaš li neku drugu?"
    Ivica: "Vidio sam gnjurca, voda mu do koljena!"
    Na to ce uciteljica: "Dobro je, ali nema rime:"
    Ivica ko iz topa: "Bit ce rima, kada dode plima!"
    Last edited by patak87; 10.02.2013 at 20:36.

  2. #2
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    Za vrijeme rucka pita mali Ivica tatu:Tata, zašto si oženio mamu? Tata ljutito ustaje od stola pa kaže: - Vidiš, ženo, ni malome nije jasno!

  3. #3
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    Ivica piše pismeni iz matematike i uciteljica mu govori:
    - Nadam se da te ovog puta necu uhvatiti u prepisivanju.
    - I ja se nadam, uciteljice.

  4. #4
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    Sjedi mali Ivica u tramvaju kraj vrata. Pride mu bakica pa ga pita:
    -Sinek, bi se mi mogli zamijeniti?
    Mali je pogleda ispod oka pa kaže:
    -Kaj, ja da budem baba?

  5. #5
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    Došao Ivica u školu s kondomom na glavi. Pita ga uciteljica:
    - Pa dobro Ivice, cemu to? Na to ce Ivica: Pa valjda sam i ja neki k*rac u ovoj školi.

  6. #6
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    Sinu se bliži 6. rodendan i otac ga upita: "Što želiš da ti tata kupi za rodendan?"
    "OB tampone!" vikne sin sav sretan.
    "Pa što ce tebi OB tamponi, sine?"
    "S njima mogu sve - plivati, voziti bicikl, igrati tenis - a ništa od
    toga sada ne znam"

  7. #7
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    KLAVIR

    - Sine, platit cu ti svaki dan 10 Eura da vježbaš svirati klavir - kaže otac Ivici.
    - Ali tata, susjed Marko mi placa 15 Eura samo da ne sviram!

  8. #8
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    PIJANAC

    - Tata, što je to pijanac? - pita Ivica oca.
    - Sine, vidiš li one dvije gredice na ogradi? Eto, pijancu se cini da su tamo cetiri gredice.
    - Ali tata, ja vidim samo jednu gredicu.

  9. #9
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    Prikaz Nagrada

    Uciteljica:
    - Ivice, nabroji mi 3 poznate licnosti.
    - Zidane, Beckham, Ronaldinho...
    - Dobro, a što je s Mozartom, Da Vinchijem...?
    - Pa uciteljice, ne poznajem bas najbolje rezervne igrace

  10. #10
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    Prikaz Nagrada

    Nakon mise pita mali Ivica mamu:
    - Mama, je li to istina da se ljudi nakon smrti pretvore u prašinu?
    - Da, istina je.
    - Onda je netko umro ispod mog kreveta. - kaže Ivica.

 

 
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